Missing North
by Sky Venom
Summary: South-Hungary, where I live now is different from the North where I grew up. Weeks ago, I was sitting on the train, watching the landscape, and sighed: "I'm missing North." Then, I knew that I should write a SanSan story around this quote. Here it is, reviews are welcomed! This is my first english story, by the way.


Sansa was sitting on her bed, her back was leaning towards the wall, her arms were hugging her knees. She was weeping silently in the darkness of the room, never let a sob to burst out. The reason of her behaviour was that even if she was upset, she knew some knightly kingsguard must be standing by her door, spying on her dreams.

As of her, she might have been beaten many times, but can never let them see or hear her broken. She should be more of a real wolf, even if she feels not...

She watched the flames in the fireplace for a while. Lately, fire always made her thinking of the Hound - she felt for him. She was feeling something for him: pity, gratitude, some safety, and a bit of unadmitted proudness because he was a strong warrior, a real champion (and he acted like that while denying it furiously), and a bit of shy sympathy.

Moreover, somewhere deep in her heart, she wished for a night when he would stand guard for her at the night. She was dying for sleeping through a whole night.

Well, this was just a faint wish which could never happen until she dares to lurk out of her room once. She prefered sleepless but calm nights to be needlessly beaten - and the risks were too high.

She let out a quiet sigh, then walked to the fireplace to make the flames bigger. In Winterfell, they needed large fires to keep themselves warm enough, and this night she wanted to remember. So then she just sit down to the floor and remembered...

Suddenly, the flames started a wild dance, and she also heard the soft creak of her opening door. She froze at the moment like an ice statue. Had she made too much noise? Had she made her guard angry? _Old gods, please, have an eye on me now! _she pleaded like she did so often lately.

"'Ya allright, Little Bird?" she heard the rasping voice. She tried to answer, but she couldn't hold back her tears of relieve. "Why aren't you sleepin'? And what are ya' doin' with the fire? Are you cold? _Here?_"

She gave up and began sobbing and trembling heavily. It was simply too much for the moment... After the great panic of getting the daylight nightmare at night she felt this calm happiness over seeing just the Hound, hearing him asking these questions... Yes, she could admit to herself that her wish for him as a guard wasn't a shy wish anymore but it was surely the most desired.

He kneeled beside her, unmoving as if he didn't know what to do. That just made things worse for her, but also better at the same time. She cried harder and harder while she only wanted to express him her feelings. Or... asking about his. His questions before was far more than some words put one after the other, he sounded as if he was worried or at least, as if he actually cared... just like her father, her mother, her brothers, even Arya sometimes - her family, her beloved ones did long time ago. _Maybe I loved them, because they cared for me _she thought.

She became conscious when the Hound began moving uncomfortably.

"Oh, I'm sorry" she chirped immediately. "I should've thought... sorry, the flames..."

"Don't be such a fool, Little Bird!" he muttered.

Still, Sansa stood up and placed herself on her bed. She tried to make up an answer for his previous questions, but when he followed her, she just simply said:

"I'm missing North."

"Bugger that, I can believe you!" She saw his mouth twitching - he almost laughed at her, but Gods know why, he resisted. "So you tried to burn your room? I thought it's freezy there, not this hot" he mocked her.

It felt bad, so she hugged herself again. He kneeled beside her awkwardly.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Little Bird" he murmured almost reassuringly. "Do you really miss your home that much?"

She nodded eagerly. "I do!"

"So never say it out loud again" he advised. "Your North is too far, they won't hear your cries. You need to bear staying here, because you won't ever be free to leave."

"But..." she inhaled to give a fitting answer, then she had to agree. "I know. It's the hardest at the nights, when I'm alone."

"You can't sleep, that's it, isn't?

"I... not really." She was weeping again. She didn't intend to confess it to him.

"I wish you'd feel better than crying out those two blue eyes of yours when no one sees..."

He tried to be sympathetic, she knew, but it made things real. She was stuck in a really bad situation, but that's also why she never wanted to share her secrets with anyone, still, it felt right with him.

They remained in the same position for some time; Sansa embracing herself, the Hound kneeling by her bed. It was peaceful. Sansa felt his eyes on her, but now the usual rage and hateful glance was missing.

He touched her hand.

"I won't make you stupid vows or promises of a liar. I can't take you home, neither take you anywhere, but seven hells, Little Bird, I'm stuck here, and if you need me, I'll be here for you!" he said overwhelmed.

"Thank you" she chirped while fighting with tears. "You are most kind, my... oh, well, thank you."

"Spare me from your courtesies" he rasped but in a delightful way. " As I said, I won't make promises. I'll just be here, that's not much, you can think."

"I know." She put both her hands in his and looked him in the eyes. It was a moment of such an intimacy that she never experimented before, but neither did the Hound. He clearly felt insecure, but tried hir best to remain strong for her. She appreciated that so much as if he were to offer a whole new life somewhere.

"Now lay down and sleep. This night, I'm the one who's standing guard for you" he said, then stood up to leave.

"Could you please leave the door open for me to see you?"

The Hound laughed at her. "Why, you wanna _see_ _me_? Dare not to say that you're already _willing_ to look at me!" His mockery sounded a bit false, like he'd be hurt, so she decided to explain.

"I really do. I can't look at you during the day, I can look at nowhere, but in the night, you are the one and only here I wish to see."

She shut her eyes - he may not see her so embarrassed - and let him standing by her door. Maybe this confusing statement of hers keeps him awake till morning. _Well, if that's the way it is, I'm helping him do his work properly"_ she thought before she finally fell asleep.


End file.
